Certain technologies have come out in the past few years that have forever changed the way humans interact with each other through the Internet. None of these technologies have been worse psychologically for pre-teens and adolescents than Xbox Live.
In the few years that Xbox Live has been around it has taught young kids a few things:
1) If you can’t see the person, it’s perfectly acceptable to call them a Jew, a nigger or a piece of shit donkey lips virgin cock-magnet. Xbox Live has taught 12-year-olds world-wide that you can say whatever you want, to anyone, with no repercussions whatsoever.
2) Age doesn’t matter. So what if the box says you’re supposed to be 17+ because of racism, violence and gore? “I’m 12-years-old, mother fucker! Fuck waiting five more years! I want to play Call Of Duty 4, not Call Of Duty 9.”
3) If you go online and don’t talk shit, you’re somehow weaker than the other few million playing Xbox at the same time as you. Xbox Live was made for shit-talking and if you don’t do it…FUUUUCK YOU.
4) Being good at Xbox at 12 is like being blind with a great sense of hearing. Their self-esteem shoots through the roof because everyone wants to be their friend and play with them online. Then they get into the real world and call a kid who weighs a hundred pounds more than them a noob, they get shoved into a locker, turned upside down and swirlied for 20 minutes. Bad choice.
If Xbox Live has done one thing, it’s hindered the social abilities of kids growing up who choose to use it and mimic the masses online. It’s not how people interact in the real world. Xbox Live essentially is made of millions of bullies bullying each other playing Halo at the same time. But they all know what’s really more important: the shit talking.
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I can’t pick football this year to save my life. I’m in a contest where I pick three games each week, with the spread, and pray to God that I win. For some reason this year my picking has been atrocious. I almost picked Green Bay who’s losing to Atlanta by 10. I picked Indy who’s losing to Houston (no idea how) and somehow Carolina got good this year and is kicking ass pretty much every week.
I pick according to who was good last year or two years ago, that’s what it’s starting to seem like. What happened?! Did the NFL get turned on its head this year or what? What the hell am I doing wrong? I used to be so good at this!
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In Pineapple Express Seth Rogen talks about the weed dealer that tries to be your friend but at the same time it’s extremely creepy because you don’t want to have a relationship with this person, you just want your weed. This guy down the hall from me is that guy, that weed dealer. Only he doesn’t sell weed, he sells fake Georgia IDs and buys alcohol for the floor. He hangs out in our room, drunk always. He stops by any time of the day and can’t quite get the hint that not many of us like him.
This guy is one of those that thinks he’s a lot cooler than everyone else solely because he buys the rest of us beer and 40’s and used to play lacrosse. Where I’m from, that kind of guy is known as one thing: the douchebag. The douchebag has that inflated amount of self-worth that’s exponentially higher than it should be. It’s so high you just want to bury him up to his ears in sand, hit him with the shovel and tell him to shut the fuck up. Yeah, buy us booze but then leave. Go back to whatever hole you crawled out of and dont come out again until we need you. You’re not our friend; you’re our hookup. Go away, dick!
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I just got out of my very first computer science test and it was all going well until the last problem. The last problem was of course the only thing I didn’t study: a loop within a loop. I didn’t even go into the test hoping it wasn’t on there. I flat out forgot about it. Fuck!
I’m guessing I got about a 70-75% on that. I should have gotten at least an 85. God damn double loops!
Also, it’s fucking intimidating when you’re sitting there taking your time and throngs of your classmates are walking up to turn the test in. But hey, that’s college I guess, just gotta get used to that and tune it out.
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One thing that would be fun for a few hours, maybe a day at most: prison.
Your turn.
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Homesick Zack starts shooting tonight. Hopefully out first episode will be out sometime within the weekend or at the very latest next week. If you’re just reading about Homesick Zack for the first time, Homesick Zack is a series of shorts about a first semester college freshmen that’s too homesick to function and the only place he finds happiness and solace is in the shower.
http://homesickzack.tumblr.com
Hope you’ll tune in.
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